Jesus, I trust in You

A few days ago, because of things which have not been going on too well for me, I seek comfort in God through some of my bookmarked websites, one of them requires me to say 'Jesus, I trust in You' many times until I really mean it.

I said it a lot of times, but didn't feel like meaning it.

I prayed hard, asking God to again, open my as-usual-narrowed-and-foolish mind. He did.

Many thoughts flooding through my mind these few days which I would like to believe are wisdom which God have granted to me with much grace. He knows I know so little, because of my past sins which have clouded my judgement and compromise my full potential for developing into His handmaid.

Seek and ye will find, ask, and ye will be given.

And today's homily was AMAZING. I was practically crying my eyeballs out and sniffing away all through the mass. THIS time, God remembered to ensure that I DO have tissues with me, I don't normally carry around with me tissues. (There was one time last year when I cried so hard in the mass but did not have tissue so I had to use my coat... Then I jokingly talk about it in my (deleted) blog how God should at least make me remember to carry tissues with me if He is going to make me cry.

Haha.... How can I say and doubt any more that God is not present near me. He is always, ALWAYS there.

Just when I doubt so much this week, about everything. And 'coincidently', the message of today's Homily is about 'In God alone I trust'.

And, listening to today's homily and psalm, everything that I read from the bible study, especially now that I am on the book of Exodus, the Exodus really touch me so deeply in my heart. I really, really CAN see 'it' from God's eyes. I am amazed, Lord. But above all, I am so overwhelmed with gratitude, words just can't express it.

I CAN finally understand His fatherly love.

I should always remember, afflictions, doesn't necessarily abandonment from Him. But rather, to someone who sincerely seek out to Him, it's fatherly disciplining.

I CAN be confident in His one-step-at-a-time ways. It's written all over the Bible. He will not reveal everything, but one at a time, and ask us to continue to have faith in Him. I really see it now.

By the way, here are the readings for today and it's reflections.

Isaiah 49:15
Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you.